i see BLOOD! ......nah

phew...things have progressed and improved...nose is recovered. had a little nap after excusing myself from tuition n mission trip meeting. really really needed that rest.

as i was struggling to fall asleep...head was heavy, throat felt bad, eyes were teary, nose was leaking, i was still sneezing explosively intermittently, brain was stressed out, i was having bits of chill and feeling hot & sticky at the same time...and just absolutely miserable ya?...anyway...

i was thinking about how this paper was so painful...right from the beginning...research, gathering infromation, trying to find a direction for my paper, understanding the tons of info i had, sifting through more stuff, trying to come up with the suitable methodology for what i wanted to do, coming up with an outline, trying to make everything fit together...trying to write coherently and make good points, analyze the info...it was tough...not just because there was so many things to do. but because i kept getting stuck every step of the way.

i kept thinking abt what went wrong. then it struck me. it's as painful and laborious as giving birth. i was getting 'pregnant'...collecting all the information...ideas in my head...and when the time came for me to 'give birth'...i just got stuck at the 'contractions' bit.

everytime i thought i had it...i understood, i knew how to proceed...somehow i thought it was time to 'deliver' and get the essay done...'surely i'll finish it by tonight'...i told myself everynight for the past week...THEN...i got stuck, confused, lost, frustrated...i tried my best to 'push' and get it out...but i just got more and more tired and frustrated...too bad i can't scream out loud at home!

now it seems i can feel that my paper is to be 'out' soon...one third of the way. somehow...i look forward to seeing the fruit of my 'labour'...my 'baby'...after so much hard work...and this was supposed to be a great learning experience...but in the meanwhile...the pain is blinding me.

wah...think real 'labour' will be much worse leh...but surely it won't take 2 weeks! *heh* but then pregnancy takes 9 month worh!...a fully legitimate reason to eat and get fat though...and having a baby at the end of it sure beats getting a grade...then again...who am I to know?...yet...hee...but i'm sure i won't be crying tears of joy when i get my grade for this paper...*sigh*

enough crapping...gotta get back to my 'delivery room'....har har har...pathetic.